Questions

What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
Ans.:Teapot

A word I know, six letters it contains. Subtract just one, and twelve is what remains.
Ans.:Dozens

Tom's mom had four kids: Nickel, Dime, Quarter and what is the fourth?
Ans.:Tom

What is a five letter word which becomes shorter with two letters added onto it?
Ans.:Short

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Ans.:Time

What English word starting with 'B' has three consecutive double letters?
Ans.:Bookkeeping

What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in?
Ans.:Keyboard

There is a plane traveling from New Delhi to Pakistan at 800 KMPH, but unfortunately just as it reaches the border between India and Pakistan, it crashes. Where do they bury the survivors, in India, or in Pakistan?
Ans.:survivors don't get buried, dead people do!!

Standing in an open pasture are a Papa bull and a Baby bull, which member of the family is missing?
Ans.:The correct answer is the cow, there is no such animal as a Mama bull, it's called a cow.


Which is correct: Five and four are eight, or five and four is eight?
Ans.: Five and four equals nine, not eight

How many members of each type of animal did Moses take on the ark?
Ans.:Moses didn't bring any animals onto the ark, it was Noah.

10 Most stupid Questions people ask!!!

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
(Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..)

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes
steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
(No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.)

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
(Why? Would it rather have been you?)

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
(No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.)

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
(Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.)

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
(No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.)

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
(No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa
marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.)

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
(No, its autumn and I'm shedding......)

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
(No it wont. It will just bleed.)

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
(Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!)

Marriages....

I don't have any idea about marriages... I got this in a forward :)

My heart is....

Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart. Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person! Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense What you bring to relationships: Honesty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Be happy if u don't have Girl Friend

WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND

1. You can stare at any Girl.......

2. You don't have to spend money on her.

3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.

4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a
girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves .

5. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring

5. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.

7. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

8. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date to
arrive at some weird shop\place

9. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them


10. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.

11. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.


12.You wont have to fight over having a 'special' freind with ur folks.

13. No nonstop nonsense.

14. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.

15. No more tension.

16. You can be "urself"

17. You wont have to hide your telephone bills...

So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!

Love me

Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.

Why ?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

And finally,............ The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they are okay, then...

How many times you cheated on your wife?

Three men die and go to heaven. When they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them each one question: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?"

The first one answers "Never!"

St. Peter checks the books, discovers the man is correct and gives him a Rolls-Royce to drive during his stay in heaven.

The second man answers "Oh, about 25-30 times."

He is given a Ford Pinto and sent on his way.

The third man answers "Maybe 400-500 times" and is assigned a bicycle.

A few months later, the three meet up .. The Pinto driver, and the bicycle rider notice the Rolls-Royce man has a long drawn-out sad look on his face. Puzzled, the other two query him as to "why the sad face?".

Mr. Rolls just looked at them and said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

The Young Couple

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a
dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After
10 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She
peeks inside and sees 3 eggs and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every
time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the drawer." She figures 3
times in 10 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied
"Whenever I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."

~~Internet Sayings~~

Home is where you hang your @.

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

Great groups from little icons grow.

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

C: is the root of all directories.

Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

The modem is the message.

Too many clicks spoil the browse.

The geek shall inherit the web.

A chat has nine lives.

Don't byte off more than you can view.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.

Windows will never cease.

Virtual reality is its own reward.

Modulation in all things.

A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

There's no place like home.com.

Know what to expect before you connect.

Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.