Lufthansa:
**************************************
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from thecaptain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladiesand Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made abelly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an annoucement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean.All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane.For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane...
---THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA- "
Air INDIA.
******************************************
"This is Captain Sharma speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard AIR INDIA flight 602 from Mumbai to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.""If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at
you.
That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. "
This is a recorded message."
Monday, January 31, 2005
Smart Dame!!!
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, ?? "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.
"Good," she replies. "Get up and get your own damn blanket."
At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, ?? "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.
"Good," she replies. "Get up and get your own damn blanket."
Friday, January 28, 2005
Murphy's Love Laws !!!
- All the good ones are taken.
- If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1)
- The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
- Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
- The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
- Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
- The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
- Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
- Nice guys(girls) finish last.
- If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
- Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Life isn't fair to men
Since I don't have any experience.. offering it without any comments ...:)
====================
# Thought 1 #
When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?
-------------------------------------------------------
# Thought 2 #
The average man's life consists of
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
--------------------------------------------------------
# Thought 3 #
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a
voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a
brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right
in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to
cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still!
If you take one more step a car will run over you,
and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car
came careening around the corner, barely missing
him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your
guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, January 20, 2005
This is the fact about marriages!!
I don't have any comments .. any takers :))))
=====
Love Stages :-)
The L Word:
6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U
6 months: Of course I love U
6 years: GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks: Honey, I'm home
6 months: BACK!!
6 years: What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring
6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living Room
6 years: Here's the money. Buy yourself something
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone
6 months: Here, for you
6 years: PHONE RINGING
Cooking:
6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years: AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks: Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you
6 months: Watch out! Don't do it again
6 years: What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks: Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress
6 months: You bought a new dress again???
6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks: How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months: What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years: Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months: I like this movie
6 years: I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to Bed, I can stay up by myself !!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
one liners....
Some r good....
===
I say no to drugs they just don't listen
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
Born free taxed to death.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
The hardest part of skating is the ice.
My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
Someday is not a day of the week.
===
I say no to drugs they just don't listen
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
Born free taxed to death.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
The hardest part of skating is the ice.
My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
Someday is not a day of the week.
Biscuit Manufacturer writes a love letter to his Girl Friend??
Dear Marie,
Yesterday was a Good Day .. Our meeting was Truly Nice . Though I was in 50-50 mind to see you, the meeting and the Treat were good. The Hide and Seek game we had played was really memorable. If I had not met you, probably my Little Heart would have burst. But this occasion gave me a great Boost to make me feel like seeing you again and again. Like a Tiger I will grab you if anybody comes between us.
Yours,
Bourbon
Yesterday was a Good Day .. Our meeting was Truly Nice . Though I was in 50-50 mind to see you, the meeting and the Treat were good. The Hide and Seek game we had played was really memorable. If I had not met you, probably my Little Heart would have burst. But this occasion gave me a great Boost to make me feel like seeing you again and again. Like a Tiger I will grab you if anybody comes between us.
Yours,
Bourbon
Monday, January 17, 2005
Some Puzzles4u... - kadi ... :) - PJ
Q - In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water
level
of the pond increases. How? Think...........try it Yes you
can................
Can't answer..........scroll down
... scroll...
A - The other 9 fish are crying.................
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"
Whatz a (P + i J)?
- A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a
"complex poor joke" ?
scroll down for answer.......
more boss....
Bcoz the joke part of it is
imaginary.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
level
of the pond increases. How? Think...........try it Yes you
can................
Can't answer..........scroll down
... scroll...
A - The other 9 fish are crying.................
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"
Whatz a (P + i J)?
- A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a
"complex poor joke" ?
scroll down for answer.......
more boss....
Bcoz the joke part of it is
imaginary.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So, which platform are you working on?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOVE
Love isn't finding a perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
=
Hmmm......one more definition..
=
Hmmm......one more definition..
Realllam of life!!
Old one('ll be new for someone atleast )..anyway it is good to read...
This is a story of four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was some important work that had to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because of this, since it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Oooops.............Got it? ;)
If You Didn't Read Again.
This is a story of four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was some important work that had to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because of this, since it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Oooops.............Got it? ;)
If You Didn't Read Again.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Thinking puzzles, These are Lateral Thinking puzzles
1)
man
-----------
board
Ans. = man overboard
2)
stand
-----------
i
Ans. = I understand
ok?....get the drift?
Let's try a few now & see how you fare ???
3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/
Ans. = reading between the lines
4.road
a
d
Ans. = cross road
5.cycle
cycle
cycle
Ans. = tricycle
6. t
o
w
n
Ans. = downtown
7 . le /
/ vel
/
Ans. = split level
8 . 0
------------
M.D.
Ph.D.
Ans. = two degrees below zero
9. knee
------------
light
Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
10. ii ii
-----------
O O
Ans. = dark circles under the eyes
11. dice
dice
Ans. = paradise
12. t
o
u
c
h
Ans. = touchdown
13. ground
---------------
feet
feet
feet
feet
feet
feet
Ans. = six feet underground
14. he's / himself
Ans. = he's by himself
15. ecnalg
Ans. = backward glance
16. death / life
Ans. = life after death
17.
Ans. think big !!
18 ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
Ans. long time no 'c' (see)
man
-----------
board
Ans. = man overboard
2)
stand
-----------
i
Ans. = I understand
ok?....get the drift?
Let's try a few now & see how you fare ???
3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/
Ans. = reading between the lines
4.road
a
d
Ans. = cross road
5.cycle
cycle
cycle
Ans. = tricycle
6. t
o
w
n
Ans. = downtown
7 . le /
/ vel
/
Ans. = split level
8 . 0
------------
M.D.
Ph.D.
Ans. = two degrees below zero
9. knee
------------
light
Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
10. ii ii
-----------
O O
Ans. = dark circles under the eyes
11. dice
dice
Ans. = paradise
12. t
o
u
c
h
Ans. = touchdown
13. ground
---------------
feet
feet
feet
feet
feet
feet
Ans. = six feet underground
14. he's / himself
Ans. = he's by himself
15. ecnalg
Ans. = backward glance
16. death / life
Ans. = life after death
17.
THINK
Ans. think big !!
18 ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
Ans. long time no 'c' (see)
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
"If u love someone" Funny new versions
Original Quote:
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
The new versions.....
Pessimist:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... * If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians : (Apte)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then outsource her.
MBA
^^^
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously.
Psychologist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free. If she comes back her super ego is dominant. If she doesn't come back her id is supreme. If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist
^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis.
Finance expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty. If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market.
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
The new versions.....
Pessimist:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... * If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians : (Apte)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then outsource her.
MBA
^^^
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously.
Psychologist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free. If she comes back her super ego is dominant. If she doesn't come back her id is supreme. If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist
^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis.
Finance expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty. If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market.
If you can ....
If You Can...
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you,
when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG
Monday, January 10, 2005
funonthenet@yahoogroups.com
Many posts in this blog is taken from this good yahoo group :
funonthenet@yahoogroups.com
Confused Conversation...
**Confusion confuses and creates confusion to further the confusion**
... read conversation between Mr. Watt and William Knott...
"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.
READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have
not even told me yours yet."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told
me yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
[Pause]
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, but you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT
THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Guud!"
"Good."
"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
"No, it's Knott!"
"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
"Yes Wright."
NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL !!
... read conversation between Mr. Watt and William Knott...
"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.
READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED...
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have
not even told me yours yet."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told
me yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
[Pause]
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, but you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT
THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Guud!"
"Good."
"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"
"No, it's Knott!"
"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."
"Yes Wright."
NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAME AS WELL !!
Friday, January 07, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Monday, January 03, 2005
I LOVE U................
Hmm..an abstract topic..... received this from a friend...
=============================
For all you people who say "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!! something to ponder upon.....
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??It isn't love, it's like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??It isn't love, it's lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off??It isn't love, it's luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there??It isn't love, it's loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants??It isn't love, it's loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??It isn't love, it's low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them??It isn't love, it's pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??It isn't love, its infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??It isn't love, it's friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of??It isn't love, it's a lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??It isn't love, it's charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??Then it's love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??Then it's love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??Then it's love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??Then it's love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??Then it's love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??Then it's love.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.
=============================
For all you people who say "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!! something to ponder upon.....
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??It isn't love, it's like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??It isn't love, it's lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off??It isn't love, it's luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there??It isn't love, it's loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants??It isn't love, it's loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??It isn't love, it's low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them??It isn't love, it's pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??It isn't love, its infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??It isn't love, it's friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of??It isn't love, it's a lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??It isn't love, it's charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??Then it's love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??Then it's love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??Then it's love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??Then it's love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??Then it's love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??Then it's love.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.
This is the heights!
I have not seen anyone like this till now...
===
A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911,and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
===
A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911,and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Conductor(A good Joke??)
Plz read this very carefully & answer the question.
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus,
but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the
spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took
him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital
punishment.He was taken to the electrocution
chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single
banana peel at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given
to him.
But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free,
and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to
board the bus but the conductor didn't
stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also,the good looking middle aged woman came under
the bus and died on the spot.
Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him
to the court. The judge took one
look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there
was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one
corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to
set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This
time the Bus conductor, remembering
his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly
gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The
conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same
judge.
Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the
judge decided to set an example and gave him
capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where
there was a single chair in the
center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died
instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is
perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again. Still if you
can't, then look below.........
think hard
think hard
think hard
Answer:
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore
electricity didn't pass through him.
But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed
through him freely and he
died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!!
Obviously you have to revise your science chapter on Electricity???
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus,
but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the
spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took
him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital
punishment.He was taken to the electrocution
chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single
banana peel at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given
to him.
But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free,
and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to
board the bus but the conductor didn't
stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also,the good looking middle aged woman came under
the bus and died on the spot.
Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him
to the court. The judge took one
look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there
was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one
corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to
set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This
time the Bus conductor, remembering
his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly
gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The
conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same
judge.
Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the
judge decided to set an example and gave him
capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where
there was a single chair in the
center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died
instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is
perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again. Still if you
can't, then look below.........
think hard
think hard
think hard
Answer:
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore
electricity didn't pass through him.
But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed
through him freely and he
died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!!
Obviously you have to revise your science chapter on Electricity???
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