When the going gets Tough… The Tough gets Going………

Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human ,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing,
But only God Keeps u Going

There's an old priest

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell three times this week."

Don't speak English, U speak American.....

In USA :
U don't open conversation (on telephone) with a "Hello" but with a "Hi"
The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".
U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
U never have a "office" tel. no., U have a "work" no.
U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Your tyre never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' .,.no more ! but "carriages" or "boxes".
There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".

"I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.
U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather flick it up.
U don't "turn on the heat", U "turn on the juice".
There's no "Business Area" ... only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".

No one stays "a stone's throw away", rather "a few blocks away".
There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".
In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque",
rather ask for "check" and pay with "bill"s (dollars).
There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".
Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".
U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".
U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".
Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them.
U no longer live in "flats" , U live in "apartment".
U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line".
U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.

"#" is not "hash", it's "pound".
U R not "deaf", U have "hearing impaired".
U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".
U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".
U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".
U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.

U never "joke", U just "kid".
U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.
U don't try to find a lift... U find an elevator.
U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT"
U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?" or U say " How U DOIN?"
U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.

If U see "World" champions (or Series), read "USA" champions (or Series).
There's no "zero" but "O", no "Z"(zed) but "zee".
There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.
If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".
U Drive Ur car on Parkways and always park your car in the Drive-Way!

You do not ask for brinjal ... ask for Egg-Plant ..
also there are no lady's finger ..its Okra !
You do not say " He is a trouble creator " ..
rather u say "He's a pain in my ass" !
U do not say .. its a trivial job .. u say its a seat of the pants work.
Well u don't say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!!!



In short U don't speak English, U speak American.

Ad :) 

Watch what u ask for

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...
So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and -abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story...
Men might be ungrateful idiots ... But fairies are...female.

See if you can balance him

http://www.wagenschenke.ch/index2.htm

Company Policy

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the roomis a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hangingfrom a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey triesto climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed withice water, which makes them miserable.Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb theladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to besprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none ofthe eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a newmonkey is put in the room.Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why noneof the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but,undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat himsilly. He has no idea why. However, he no longerattempts to climb the ladder.A second original monkey is removed and replaced. Thenewcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but allthe other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. Thisincludes the previous new monkey, who, grateful thathe's not on the receiving end this time, participatesin the beating because all the other monkeys are doingit. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the newmonkey.One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced.Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of themhave ever been sprayed by ice water. None of themattempt to climb the ladder. All of them willenthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries,without having any idea why.

"AND THAT'S HOW ANY COMPANY'S POLICIES GETESTABLISHED".

Taglines

• Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.


• Life in a vacuum sucks


• You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless mailed


• Two wrongs are only the beginning.


• You're only young once; you can be immature f'ever.


• As I said before, I never repeat myself.


• A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing..


• Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.


• Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up.


• Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.


• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


• I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.


• Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?


• hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?


• Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.


• ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!


• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.


• Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy..


• I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.


• There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.


• There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!


• Frogs have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.


• Where there's smoke, you'll find my wife cooking dinner.


• Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.


• Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.


• Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.


• I was only looking at your name tag, honest.


• Quick, call a witch doctor! My witch is sick.


• Strip mining prevents forest fires.


• Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.


• KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.


• Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.


• Hangover: The wrath of grapes.


• Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!


• Life is Uncertain... Eat dessert first!


• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.


• Dont hate me because I'm beautiful - hate me because your boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful!


• Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.


• You can't scare me. I drive a school bus!


• I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.


• Smile, everyone loves a moron.


• My family puts the "fun" back in dysFUNctional.


• Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.


• Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.


• Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!


• Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!


• My computer NEVER cras...DOH!.


• Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!


• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


• How does Avon find so many women willing to take orders?


• Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.


• My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.


• Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.


• Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield..


• Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!.


• I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Unfaithful

Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under
their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their
marriage but she had never invaded his privacy. One day, while cleaning,
she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything
he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't.

In the box she found 3 eggs and 10 thousand dollars. This seemed very
strange so she went to Fred and asked, 'Why are there 3 eggs in a box
under our bed?'

He replied, 'Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in
the box.'

Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled

herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and
he had only been unfaithful 3 times. 'But where did the 10 thousand
dollars come from?' she asked. 'Every time I got a dozen, I sold it.

WAYS TO PROPOSE

1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
You're under arrest! ;
(For what?)
For stealing my heart


2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?


3. are your legs tired?
( girl: Why?)
because you have been running through my mind all day!


4. I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?


5. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.


6. (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.);
She would say ; What are doing
& respond,Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven.


7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are.


8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?


9. Walk up to a girl and say: Are you from Greece?
She answers.
Oh, I thought all the goddesses were from Greece...


10. I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek,
and & die on your lips.


11. Did you know they changed the alphabet?
They put U and I together.


12. Are you lost?
'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.


13. Do you believe in love at first sight,
or do I have to walk by you again?


14. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.


15. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.

16. You can forget about going to heaven because it's
a sin to look that good.


17. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen

Psycho Test........!!!

A story about a girl - This is a genuine Psychological Test. Read carefully!

While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, she believed him to be so much her dream guy, that she fell in love with him, but never asked for his number and then.......couldn't meet him.

A few days later, the girl killed her own sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought for a while before you scroll down. Your first thought is what counts here.





















































Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it as indicated above.

If you didn't answer correctly -- good for you

If you got the answer correct, Then.............!!!

Age!

"Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and


thinking...surely I cannot look that old? Read on...this is funny.





While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new


dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name.





Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had


been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon seeing him, however,I


quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the


deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he had


examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.





'Yes,' he replied.





'When did you graduate?' I asked.





He answered, 'In 1971. Why?'





'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.





He looked at me closely and then asked, 'What did you teach?'"

Hope :)

Received this from a friend...
======================

Here is a short story on motivation

There are two donkeys A & B - best of buddies. At the village fair A is
sold to a rich Arab while B is sold to a rich businessman.

The Arab treats A like his child takes good care of him etc. etc. While
the businessman ill treats B, does not feed him well and makes him work
hard.

After few years A & B meet and have a chat.

A is very sad about B and says that "My Arab can buy you from your
business man and you can have a good life too" B says, "No, I have hope
here"

A: "What Hope?"
B: The businessman has a beautiful daughter, and when she misbehaves the
businessman tells her - "If you continue misbehaving I will marry you
off to this donkey!"

That's how hope drives u ?!!!!! :-)

(Puzzle) Colour of Bear

In a remote place on the globe, there is a small, house having, 4 windows, each window being placed on each wall, but all the windows face south direction. An hungry bear comes to that house and peeps through the window, possibly to search for hunting any prey. Now what is the colour of the bear?






Scroll down for answer...















































Answer:

The only place where all four windows placed on four walls, facing the south direction, is North pole. Hence the bear should be polar bear and therefore its colour should be white.

(Puzzle) The missing dollar

"Three friends, sharing a single room in a remote sea-side resort, make an advance payment of $10 each. While they are checking out, the owner of the lodging house charges $25 and ask the room-attendant to give back the balance $5 to them. But the dishonest person, pockets $2 himself, and gives back $1 to each one of them. Now every one of the three friends had given $10 originally and gets back $1, thereby incurring an expense of $27. Adding this to $2, pocketed by room-attendant, does not tally with $30. Why? Where does the dollar disappear?

Scroll down for answer........

















































Actually the dollar is not missing or lost. Only our thinking mind is 'lost'. Since the $27 contains $25 as rent and $2 as pocketed by room-attendant, where does the question of adding again $2 with $27 and expect it to become $30? Now the following equations will make you more clear: $25(rent) + $2(pocketed amount) + $3 (amount got back) = $ 30 $27(rent+ pocketed amount) + $ 2(pocketed amount) SHOULD NOT = to $30 as we are adding the pocketed amount 2 times. Hence the confusion. Got it?"

(Puzzle)Mysterious suicide - Easy

An inspector breaks open a room, bolted from inside, finds a body of a man hanging from the ceiling. The dead man is too short a person to do the hanging from the ceiling and there is absolutely no other thing available except some sheet of water on the floor. How could he have committed suicide?




Scroll down for answer...





























Answer:

'Well', another good puzzle. Have you ever wondered how come the presence of water inside with no containers? If your thinking mill grinds on this score, you could possibly find it out! To cut the long story short, the man committed suicide by climbing over a largepiece of 'ice' and reached the ceiling. After that the ice melted into sheet of water. Got it!!

Interesting Proverb Pairs

He who hesitates is lost.
Look before you leap.

Birds of a feather flock together.
Opposites attract.

You're never too old to learn.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Ask no questions and hear no lies.
Ask and you shall receive.

Don't change horses in midstream.
Variety is the spice of life.

Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.
Faith will move mountains.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.
Two heads are better than one.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
Actions speak louder than words.

Don't cross the bridge till you come to it.
Forewarned is forearmed.

Silence is golden.
The squeky wheel gets the grease.

Clothes make the man.
Never judge a book by its cover.

The best things come in small packages.
The bigger, the better.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas.
If you can't beat'em join'em.

Dig the well before you are thirsty.
Don't cross the bridge till you come to it.

How winners behave!!!

A winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS......but one who NEVER QUITS!!!"

Need proof? Read on...

--------------------------------------------
Officials rejected a candidate for a news broadcasters post since his voice
was not fit for a news broadcaster. He was also told that with his
obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous. He is Amitabh Bachchan.

-------------------------------------------

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for
the executives of the Decca Recording Company. The executives were not
impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said,
"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group
was called The Beatles.

--------------------------------------------

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency told
modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or
else get married". She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.

----------------------------------------------

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after
one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go
back to drivin' a truck". He went on to become Elvis Presley.

-- - --------------------------------------------

A small boy--the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling
newspapers in a small village to earn his living. He was not exceptionally
smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets. The first rocket
he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was
made a butt of ridicule. He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey
of India single-handedly. He is Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. President of India.

-------------------------------------------

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring
off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration
call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who
would ever want to see one of them?"

-------------------------------------------

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments
before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so
many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It
just happened to be a 2000-step process".

-------------------------------------------

In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to
20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all
turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections, he finally got a
tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company, to purchase the rights to
his invention--an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox
Corporation.

------------------------------------------

A little girl--the 20th of 22 children, was born prematurely and her
survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double
pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with aparalyzed left leg. At age
9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to
walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said
was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a
race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she
came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running.
One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won
every race she entered. Eventually this little girl--Wilma Rudolph, went on
to win three Olympic gold medals.

----------------------------------------

A schoolteacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics
and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would
not become anybody in life. The boy was Albert Einstein.
-------------------------------------------

(Quote) The greatest enemy of knowledge.....

"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

- Stephen Hawking

Are U a Smart Pgmr?

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.



When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."



The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"


The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"



The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

B A Smart Programmer!!!!!!

Bust station,Train Station and Work Station

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........


=================
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

(Quotes) Taking Chances

Alvin Toffler
It is better to err on the side of daring than the side of caution.

David Lloyd George
Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.

Robert H. Schuller
Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Lee Trevino
Pressure is when you play for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.

William Joseph Slim
When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.

Herodotus
Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.

A.E. Hotchner
I would rather fail in an attempt at something new and uncharted than safely succeed in a repeat of something I have done.

Dale Carnegie
The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.

Earl Nightingale
Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.

Theodore Roosevelt
It is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory, nor defeat.

(Quote) Power to do...

"What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do."

-Aristotle

Flash Mind reader !!!

Try this quite interesting ..with simple logic :

Click here and enjoy...

Lateral Thinking ...!!!

Suppose you are going in a deep forest on a stormy
night and found three persons underneath a tree. One
is a doctor, who saved your life when you were young,
and the other is a 90-year-old woman suffering from
asthma requiring immediate hospitalisation. The third
one is your dream girl or boy. If you have only one
seat in your car besides you, what would you do?

Think and answer....























1. around 80% in this world, would prefer to take the
old woman. they are the normal ones!
2. around 20% would prefer to take the doctor, who is
beneficial to society. they are called realists.
3. <1% would prefer to take the girl/boy, they are
called materialists.


thats is not the end.
|
|
|
|
|
|
there are also very very less % of people who have
another option.


How about giving your keys to the doctor and request
him to take the old lady to the hospital, and you
staying back with your dream girl/boy spending a
beautiful stormy night in the forest?.


they are called lateral thinkers!


this was stolen from a book quoting *Edward de Bono*
as the owner of this story.

A STRANGER'S JUST A FRIEND

Whenever you're feeling lonely,
Whenever you're feeling low -
There's one thing you must remember,
A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

I'll pass along this way just one time only,
A fleeting moment in eternity -
Why should I spend my life alone and lonely,
When just a word of friendship is the key?

A warm smile can bring you true love,
A warm heart can make it grow;
There's no need for feeling lonely,
A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

No matter where you go, of this you can be sure:
A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

-Gilbert Gibson/Jim Reeves

The aim of an argument...

"The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress."

--Joseph Joubert

Man and belief

Man is made by his belief, as he believes so he is.

- Bhagvad Geeta

Answer this : Thought for the Day....

Read this...think..and answer....

Once there was loving couple travelling in a bus in a mountainous
area. They decided to get down at some place. After the couple got down at some
place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus
from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed.
The couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus" Why
do u think they said that?



Scroll down for answer

























Come on think again ......

































Come on try hard.....































------------------- Answer !!!! -------------------

If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the
resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have
fallen
after the bus had passed ...!!!
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can
help Others......

The opposite of Sucess is not Failure, its Quitting.

Winners never quit, quitters never Win.

Take this Test

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we
grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If
you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...,


Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are
losing it or are still "with it."


The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made
your own....
OK, relax, clear your mind and....
begin.


1. What do you put in a toaster?















Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself.


If you said, "bread," ! go to Question 2.


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?






















Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt
the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even
overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading
something more appropriate such as Children's World."


If you said "water" then proceed to question 3


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house
is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
























Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????


If you s! aid "glass," then go on to Question 4.


4. Twenty ye ars ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If
you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West
Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines
fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also
failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine
fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the
middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where
would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no
man's land"?
























Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING
else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from
a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated


If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then pro! ceed to the next
question.


5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then
how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?





























Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than
"one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you
are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the
room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.


6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon,
two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get
off and 16 people get in. In Swansea, three people get off and five
people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three g! et on. You
then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the n ame of the bus driver?





























Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!


Now pass this along to your "friends" and hope they do better then
you did!

Shampoo Ad!!!! 

IT Professionals after death...
 

IT Professionals after death...
 

IT Professionals after death...
 

Einstein's relativity

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."


-Albert Einstein

Comments:

After reading this quote I rember the song "Anbe..Ennai Kanavillaiye netrodu( Nimisham kooda varusham..something like that )" in movie "Kadal Desam"

Illusion! 

If you love something...

If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.